The Last Starfighter Movie Quotes

Explore The Last Starfighter movie quotes and dialogs:

Nick Castle directed the movie. Jonathan R. Betuel wrote the story and the screenplay.

Man from the trailer park: Elvira's got no electric. She can't see her soaps, she'll hyperventilate.

Centauri: [voice] Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-dan armada.

Otis: Oh. And you never have a good time. Is that it?
Alex Rogan: Oh, sure. I love patching 30-year-old fuse panels...and plunging people's toilets. Otis, I just never had a chance to have a good time around here.
Otis: Things change. Always do. You'll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you gotta grab it with both hands and hold on tight!

Maggie Gordon: I love you so much, Alex.
Alex Rogan: I'll always love you, Maggs.
Louis Rogan: [derisively] Diarrhoea!

Centauri: Hello. Excuse me, son.
Alex Rogan: Store's closed, mister.
Centauri: I'm not here for cigarettes or bubblegum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?
Alex Rogan: Alex Rogan, and you're lookin' at him.
Centauri: Alex Rogan. Aha-ha.[laughs]
Alex Rogan: Who are you?
Centauri: Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here.
Alex Rogan: It is?
Centuari: It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance [gestures toward back seat of his car] Step into my office.

Centauri: I must congratulate you on your virtuoso performance, my boy. Centauri is impressed. I've seen 'em come, and I've seen 'em go, but you're the best, my boy. Dazzling! Light years ahead of the competition! Centauri's got a little proposition for you. Are ya interested?

Centauri: Listen. Centauri wants to keep it for a surprise. Trust me. Oh, ho-ho-ho, you're gonna love it. Love it! The amusing thing about this is, it's all a big mistake. That particular Starfighter game was supposed to be delivered to Vegas, not some fleaspeck trailer park in the middle of tumbleweeds and tarantulas. So it must be fate, destiny, blind chance, luck even, that brings us together. And as the poet said, the rest is history.
Alex Rogan: Where are you going? Where are you taking me?
Centauri: I told you, I want to save it for a surprise. Hey, are you kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? Noooo, or course you're not. [singsong voice] That's why I'm not gonna tell you!
Alex Rogan: Oh, God.
Centauri: Besides, I just love surprises, don't you?

Alex Rogan: There's gotta be a perfectly logical explanation for all this.

Rylan Bursar: [disgustedly] Rrrr... E sanchay!
Centauri: E sanchay! Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta!
Alex Rogan: Centauri, what's going on?
Centauri: He's just saying how delighted he is that you are here, and if there's anything that he can do to make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring.
Alex Rogan: My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we?
Centauri: Welcome to Rylos, my boy!
Alex Rogan: Rylos! Wait a minute... you mean, you mean... like the game?
Centauri: Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Booloo be with you at all times. [muttering] Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank Centauri, trust me. [out loud] BOOLA!

Alex Rogan: [to an alien] I'm sorry, uh, it was an accident. I-I-I didn't mean to step on your, uh, whatever that is.

Grig: Am I to understand you're actually declining the honor of becoming a Starfighter?
Alex Rogan: You got it.
Grig: Extraordinary! For eons, all creatures have dreamt of being Starfighters. Where you from?
Alex Rogan: Earth. And we're not at war with anybody except each other.

Grig: Up to your old Excalibur tricks again, eh, Centauri? Did it ever occur to you that it is against the law to recruit new worlds outside the Star League?

Grig: This may come as bit of a shock to you, but he doesn't want to be a Starfighter.
Centauri: Doesn't want to be a...Are you a coward? Are you crazy?
Alex Rogan: You didn't tell me about any of this!
Rylan Bursar: Return the money, Centauri.
Centauri: Return the money! Are you delirious? Do you know how long it to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas?
Grig: It must be terribly embarrassing for you and I do sympathize. However...
Centauri: But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever!
Alex Rogan: That was just a game, Centauri!
Centauri: A game? Well, you may have thought it was a game, but it was also a test. Aha, a test! Sent out across the universe to find those with the gift to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy! Here you are!
Alex Rogan: Right, here I am, about to be killed!
Centauri: Killed! You don't seriously think it's dangerous, do you? Don't be silly! Trust me!

Centauri: You still want to go? And miss all the excitement?

Centauri: Little brat. I invent the game, find the kid...drag him up there, and he doesn't want to be a Starfighter! I give up!

Lord Kril: Fire the meteor gun!
Xur: My dear Ko-dan friends, let us not forget. It was your own emperor who granted me command of this armada. But only I hold the secret to the Frontier. Only I know the location of the Starfighter base. And therefore, only I will give the order to fire!
Lord Kril: Forgive me, Xur.
Xur: [smirks] You are forgiven, Commander Kril. Meteor gunner, fire.

Centauri: Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! History! Did Chris Columbus say he wanted to stay home? No! What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Ulus were too ugly to save?
Alex Rogan: [confused] Who's Galoka?
Centauri: Ahh, never mind.
Alex Rogan: Listen, Centauri. I'm not any of those guys, I'm a kid from a trailer park.
Centauri: If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!

Alex Rogan: Maggie! You're never going to believe this!
Maggie Gordon: [slaps him, angrily] I told you, Alex! Me and my, how did you put it, "strange sexual urges" aren't talking to you anymore!

Alex Rogan: Hey, you look like me!
Beta: Of course I do. I'm a beta unit.
Alex Rogan: What the hell is a beta unit?
Beta: A beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate of you, only not as loud. I was in the Star Car, remember? We shook hands. I became you, unfortunately.
Alex Rogan: Let me get this straight, you're a robot.
Beta: I beg you pardon. I'm a state-of-the-art, top-of-the-line beta unit, put here as a courtesy while you were away. Lucky me. Wait a minute, what are you doing back?!
Alex Rogan: Are you kidding? It's war up there!
Beta: Oh, save the whales, but not the universe, huh?

Alex Rogan: What did you do to Maggie?
Beta: Do to her? We were looking up at the stars and she sticks her tongue in my ear. I screamed. I'll apologize to her tomorrow, okay?
Alex Rogan: You're not gonna be here. You're going back to Centauri right now!
Louis Rogan: [trying to sleep, angry] What's up, Alex?
Alex Rogan: Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Beta: [as Alex is walking out] You're blowing it, Alex.
Louis Rogan: [looks down from the bed, shocked] What the shit?
Beta: [imitating Alex] I said back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!

Beta: Good luck, Alex.
Alex Rogan: You too... Alex.

Centauri: [dying] Alex, I want you to know that it was for the greatest good that I brought you back. Of course... it never hurts to be rich.

Beta: Louis, you having a terrible nightmare. Go back to sleep.

Grig: [looking at Alex in uniform] Ah! Now you look human!

Alex Rogan: Wh-When... when did the hanger go up?
Grig: I told you, when Xur attacked.
Alex Rogan: And where were the Starfighters?
Grig: In the hanger.
Alex Rogan: You mean they're dead?
Grig: [scoffs] Death is a primitive concept; I prefer to think of them as battling evil, in another dimension!
Alex Rogan: In another dimension? How many are left?
Grig: Including yourself?
Alex Rogan: Yeah!
Grig: One!
Alex Rogan: ONE?

Alex Rogan: There's no fleet, no Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you me, and that's it?
Grig: Exactly. Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy: surprise attack.
Alex Rogan: It'll be a slaughter!
Grig: That's the spirit!
Alex Rogan: No, MY slaughter! One ship against the whole armada?
Grig: Yes, one gunstar against the armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.

Alex Rogan: Terrific. I'm about to get killed a million miles fron nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me: "Relax!"

Grig: I live below ground with my wife-oid and six thousand little grig-lings. At least, until Xur turns them into slaves. Where does your kind live?
Alex Rogan: Oh, uh, houses, mostly. That's caves above ground. See, here. Here's my family. See, that's--That's my folks and my brother, Louis...and that's Maggie. Uhm, we live in a mobile home. That's a cave that... that goes places. Only we never went anyplace.
Grig: A mobile cave that never went anywhere. Fascinating.

Maggie Gordon: Alex in space? Is this for real?
Beta: Yes! That's what I'm trying to tell you - it's ALL for real.
Maggie Gordon: Well, then don't talk, DRIVE!
Beta: When I get the signal, we're gonna jump, okay?
Maggie Gordon: What do you mean jump?
Beta: We're gonna ram him.
Maggie Gordon: What?
Beta: Are you ready? Jump!
Maggie Gordon: [jumps] Alex!
Beta: You owe me one, Alex.

Ko-dan Officer: Commander Kril, we're getting a signal on the alert frequency.
Lord Kril: Acknowledge.
Ko-dan Officer: The extermination emissary's beta six one message. The last Starfighter... Transmission pulsars have stopped, Commnader.
Lord Kril: The last Starfighter...
Xur: [confidently] Is dead! The last Starfighter is dead! Nothing can stop us now! Ahead full to Rylos!

Grig: Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.
Alex Rogan: What do you mean "theoretically"?
Grig: After all, D.B. has never been tested. It might overload the systems, blow up the ship!
Alex Rogan: What are you worried about, Grig? Theoretically, we should already be dead.
Grig: [shrugs] Open Death Blossom packs, switches on.

Alex Rogan: We did it.
Grig: Yes, we actually did, didn't we?
Alex Rogan: The command ship!

Lord Kril: Damage report!
Ko-dan Officer: Guidance system out. Auxiliary system out.
Lord Kril: Divert! Divert!
Ko-dan Officer: She won't answer the helm! We're locked into the moon's gravitation pull. What do we do?
Lord Kril: We die.

Alex Rogan: Centauri! I thought you were dead!
Centauri: Me die and miss all the excitement? Oh, no.

Louis Rogan: Woo! All right! We're being invaded!

Jane Rogan: [shocked] Alex, what is all this?
Alex Rogan: I, uh, I've been to another planet, Ma.

Jane Rogan: Oh, Alex, I always knew you was gonna leave someday, but I never expected this.

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